Hanging by A Moment
by indulgence
Summary: A person's emotions can be as confusing as their perception of others' feelings...a songfic for 4XD


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Disclaimer: What do _you _think? Characters are just rented for the time being, while the song is being borrowed.

****

//Desperate for changing

starving for truth

closer to where I started

chasing after you//

The room seemed to echo with different voices, while shadows tauntingly danced in the hollowness of the abode—illuminating with the natural glow of the sun as it fought to reclaim the throne of heavens. Feline's grace flowed with every movement, as the figure cockily continued each action in rhythm. Haunting eyes of gray warily predicted her opponent's move, the saber's edge glinting as it swung back and forth. Lush, long blonde locks were crudely bounded into a bun; beads of sweat formed on the white forehead of the woman—but like everything else it was ignored as her train of thought only centered in fighting off her opponent. An opponent that only she could see.

A timid knock resounded in the vacant room, pulling the woman out of her reverie and she casts down her saber—irritation apparent in her eyes. 

"Charles, did I not tell you that I shan't be interrupted at this time of day?"

"Pardon my interruption, Miss Catalonia. I just wanted to see how you were doing these days." The familiar voice answered back to her and she became annoyed imagining the smile that often followed that voice. Checking her demeanor, she turned around to face the affluent young man, a mocking smile stretching the corners of her lips.

"You honor me with your presence, Mr. Winner."

**__**

// I'm falling even more in love with you

letting go of all I've held onto //

"You flatter me, Dorothy." A genuine smile falling in his lips and she fought the urge to shake him. He must have read her eyes, because his smile immediately disappeared and he moved closer to her, his hand reaching out to touch her cheek. She casually turned away from him, creating a distance between the two of them.

**__**

// I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you //

"Isn't it an unusual time of day to visit someone, Mr. Winner?"

"Dorothy, I don't believe formalities apply to old friends." She was caught off-guard by his statement. But then again, what did she expect from a sentimental fool such as he? To her friendships were things of the past—when innocence once blanketed her with naivete. Her companion observed her silent reaction and after a second or two continued to address the question she had made. His good-natured tone remain unchanged even though he was in deep thought, sifting through the emotions she was unknowingly relating to him.

"As to your question, I had left messages to your secretary but it seems to me that you are quite busy. So, I decided to visit you during your free time." A faint line creased her forehead as she noted the incompetence of her secretary.

**__**

// Forgetting all I'm lacking

completely incomplete //

Unconsciously her slender finger slid back and forth on the blade of her saber. No matter how long she was acquainted with it, she remained at awe with its smoothness. Its beauty unhindered by the danger it brought forth—if any the danger only accentuated its beauty. A perfect medium for the art of fighting—its use dating back of old times such as the cycles of war could be traced back. She smiled coldly; violence was a man's flesh. Not only can man not part with it, but it also supports him in a way that is essential to his survival among the fittest. Her thoughts wavered as her companion's question brought her to the present.

**__**

// I'll take your invitation

you take all of me //

"Will you have dinner with me tonight?" His handsome face looking down expectantly at hers. Until now did she realize that the boy she had often belittled had grown to a man, had been mistaken by so many ladies as charming. She disgustingly noted how some of her female associates would pine for his attention and swoon upon receiving it. She bit down the laughter that was threatening to escape her lips and instead placed a condescending smile on them. 

"If you win the duel, I will." Her melodious voice rang while her hand gestured for him to choose a saber from the display case. He quickly recovered from his surprised look as deep lines drew together into a frown.

"Must we always end up challenging each other?"

"What do you expect from two people that possess opposing personalities?"

**__**

// Now, I'm falling even more in love with you

letting go of all I've held onto //

His blue eyes warily watched her delicate face. No matter how hardened she made it seem to others, he always believed that he saw traces of gentility and sweetness in it. A dry smile flowed in his thin lips as a memory emerged by itself. "You're quite right. After all, you are kinder than I."

Her eyes, which often harassed him with indifference, regarded him coolly, a thin eyebrow arched like a wing above one of it. "You've always had the tendency of overestimating a person's worth at your own expense."

"While you seem to have a habit of underestimating your self worth." 

"You don't know that." Her cold voice replied back at him and a grim silence followed suit. Irritation flowed freely around her. Who was he to judge her? Giving him a side way glance, she walks away, "If you'll excuse me, Mr. Winner, I have work to attend to."

**__**

// I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you //

He nodded silently fighting the urge to detain her…to just gather her in his arms. Staring at the door that closed soundly, he wished that it was she who was glaring at him and not the oaken door. But he had made the mistake of giving her a reason to cut his visit short. He just wanted to talk to her, but the emotions she was relating to him was quite overwhelming. Her emotions, unbridled as they were, swirled into a symphony of cacophonies. Each fighting to be expressed yet nothing could come out—indifference persisting to resurface. The dissident sound that echoed from her attracted rather than repelled him. It called out to him, while at the same time snarling upon his approach. He sighed, staring out at the window.

**__**

// I'm living for the only thing I know

I'm running and not quite sure where to go //

She growled upon opening the door, the scent of roses meeting her nostrils. Her narrowed eyes perceive a bouquet of red roses placed carefully on her desk. For the past few weeks, she has been receiving trinkets or flowers from the heir of the Winner family. To her constant annoyance, the aforementioned man, who now always seemed apologetic, would occasionally pay her a visit. A knock on the door dragged her from her thoughts, opening it she was greeted with a good-natured smile.

"Are you ready?" The blue-eyed man asked her wistfully. An odd look answered him back, laughing nervously he added, "I hope you had not forgotten about dining with me." He was unconsciously running his hand through his blonde hair—it was just that she always made him uncertain of things.

"Why…yes, Mr. Winner..dinner of course. I just hadn't expected you to be this early." Quickly glancing at the clock, she caught sight of her secretary staring at the man she was speaking with. Directing her attention to her employee, she innocently asked, "Is anything the matter, Ms. Smith?" A well-known smirk fell on her lips as her secretary reddened and stuttered an incoherent response.

**__**

// And I don't know what I 'm diving into

just hanging by a moment here with you //

The room suffocated with delegates and politicians mingling in it. Her half-empty wineglass was the only thing that kept her from falling asleep. She smirked, hearing snippets of conversations among them. It's amusing how people argue nobly for a certain cause that's for the betterment of society, when in truth they do this for their own well being. Shrugging her shoulders, she glided along the wooden floor to the garden outside.

The darkness of it was like fresh air to her. She enraptured herself within its long fingers hungry for the tranquility it provided her. It was the only place where she felt she belonged. When the person she adored the most, her father, was killed because of his unselfishness, she locked herself in the dark confines of her closet—where time halted and the sharp pain of her heart dulled.

She froze as soon as she knew that she wasn't alone. "I wasn't aware that you have a fondness of following people around." Her voice addressed her brooding companion.

He was silently berating himself as a blush involuntarily crept on his cheeks. "Not really. Only the pretty ones." Quatre reddened even more at his reply and took note of Duo's seeming influence on him. Before he could undo his impulsive reply, she turned to face him. Her sudden movement caused her flowing hair to swing about like a curtain of velvet. Framing her features just a goddess' would during an unearthly battle. He was mistaken; she wasn't pretty. She was beautiful.

**__**

//There's nothing else to lose

there's nothing else to find

there's nothing in the world

that could change my mind//

"You flatter me so, that you think of me pretty." She said it benignly yet Quatre could not dismiss the subtle mockery it implied. Perhaps it was the smile that accompanied it. Disregarding it, he swayed the current of their conversation.

"Are you alright?" Hands in his pockets, he walked alongside of her. His eyes of cloudless sky found themselves wandering to her face. While she remained looking at the path ahead of them.

"Why do you ask?"

"You seemed preoccupied before I had interrupted you."

"Was I?"

"Yes. I could sense it."

"And what was it that you sensed?" His hand reached over his heart. He could still feel the emotion that brimmed from her.

"Infinite sadness."

Irritation flashed in her eyes, as his reply echoed in her mind. "Really, Mr. Winner. Are you going to tell me next that I was thinking of suicide?"

Stepping in front of her, he effectively halted her, "Why are you always angry?" 

A smirk brightened her features as she looked up to meet his eyes, "Don't you read minds? Why don't _you_ tell me?"

"I merely can feel what others feel…but reading minds is out of the question. Besides, it is too private to be intruded upon."

"That has never stopped you before." She turned around and walked away. Something was grinding away Quatre's patience, and before he knew it he was gripping her arm to face him. Surprise was evident in her eyes, but she quickly hid it behind a wall of indifference.

**__**

//There's nothing else//

"What did I ever do to you, to make you despise me?" His baritone voice was firm and calm. His eyes were searing through hers. In a moment, she became lost in them—frightened at what she saw in them. She broke her trance by trying to free herself from his hold but that only resulted with her being pulled closer to him. "I did nothing but show you how much I care for you. I held out my hand for you to take but all you did was spit at it." He reached out, his hand softly caressing her face. "What more do you want?"

**__**

//there's nothing else//

A flash of pain in her gray eyes caused him to loosen his hold on her and she quickly pushed herself away from him. Her eyes glared back at his, a retort ready in her lips.

"I never appealed for your affections. No matter how eloquent you would express them, it would never be received the same way."

**__**

//there's nothing else//

A mixture of pain and anger rose in him, his eyes reflecting what he felt for all to see. Clenching his fist, he maintained his calm demeanor. 

"Tell me why."

"Why what? Why I can't love you?" There was something surreal on the manner she spoke and on the manner she glared at him. It was as if she herself was made of ice. She pointed at him, "People like you, people who believe that their kindness is enough to suffice other's suffering, irk me. You don't know anything and more so do you not know how I feel."

Her voice was screaming at his heart, breaking it piece by piece with its shrill dissident song. He never knew how much time could stretch in seconds…until that moment. The urge to hold her and tell her how he could feel her sadness—how at times it overwhelmed him—was left to be eaten by the numbness he began to feel. He was falling—falling down to the pit of nothingness and he was welcomed with morbid enthusiasm.

"Let me…let me understand you." His hand reached out towards her and she took a step back.

"What for?"

Staring blankly at her, his mouth spoke without command and he realized it only when he heard his own restrained voice. "My apologies for my sudden outburst. I hope that you enjoy the rest of your evening." Her eyes warily watched him stalked away; that's when she realized that she had been holding her breath. 

**__**

//Desperate for changing

starving for truth//

Her fingers idly followed the embossed lines of the card. It was simply _elegant_. Just as she would expect from him. His name was cautiously staring at her and she glared back. The door flew open and she glanced upwards, her eyes clashing with a pair of sea green eyes and she smiled dryly. 

"Miss Relena, what a surprise."

"Hello, Dorothy." The honey brown haired diplomat returned, exchanging smiles with the other blonde woman, who in returned gestured for her to seat. She next drew her attention to the shadow behind the Minister, her taunting nature not lost in her greeting, "Doing well, Mr. Barton?"

Her inquiry was answered with a solemn nod of the head. The tall man contented himself with simply leaning on the wall nearest to her female visitor's seat. "Silent as always, I see." She commented as she turns her attention back to Relena, "And what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

"Dorothy, you are well aware of my reason."

"My mind remains unchanged."

"Without those aristocrats' support of the space expansion project, we have no choice but to terminate it. The construction is almost half finished and your support of it could change their minds."

"I will not take sides. Besides ESUN's recent projects have ended in failure, my influence will change nothing."

"It may or may not. However, we need all the support that we can get. Even Quatre's endorsement has not had that much impact on aristocratic opinion."

"Perhaps, he is too busy to endorse this notion."

"What do you mean?" Relena asked her eyebrows knitted together in a frown.

"I meant that his current personal affairs are keeping him occupied."

"Oh. No, not at all." She gave Dorothy a small smile, "I believe it's rarely that his personal life intrudes with his work."

"Partiality is one trait of a friend."

"Why are you determined in giving others the notion that you disdain him, while on the contrary you're inclined to him?" Dorothy's eyes narrowed at her words and wasted no time in retorting back.

"Miss Relena, I don't believe that it means much coming from someone who can't make up her own mind. Imagine that! Engaged to Mr. Yuy while sleeping with one of his close friends." Punctuating the last line with a glance towards Trowa's way. She smirked seeing both looking uncomfortable and rather embarrassed at her insinuation. "What's more interesting is that Mr. Yuy seems to overlook this rather obvious affair. Aren't relationships built on trust and commitment? But where did trust and commitment disappear to in this one? It's a shame that it had to be taken away by a frie---" The movement caught her off guard and she felt her cheek burn with a sharp sensation. She touched her reddened cheek, somewhat surprised at the reaction of the fuming woman before her. 

"You have no right." Relena said, her voice shaking with anger.

"Nor do you on my affairs. What I do is none of your business."

"I've made mistakes on my judgement. I merely hope that you would not be as blind or obtuse as I had been."

"Miss Relena, no need to impart advises. I'm quite capable of thinking on my own." Relena's lips were pressed thinly, summoning the effort to calm down and Trowa stood beside her, his forest green eyes boring through Dorothy's. "If I'm not mistaken, Miss Relena, we have nothing more to discuss. If you'll excuse me I have important agendas to take care of." Shrugging her shoulders, she sat back down and began arranging the papers on her desk. Placing a hand on her back, Trowa slowly guided Relena out of the room. When his hand reached the doorknob he returned his eyes back to Dororthy, his monotone voice resonating in the now silent room. 

"That's the problem, you think too much."

**__**

//I'm closer to where I started//

The door closed soundly before she could reply and she returned her attention back to the beautiful card before her. She had reveled on the restrained manner that he had begun to greet her with for the past year. She had pushed the right button and found that the blue eyed man, after all, had a limitation. Didn't she have the tendency to push others to their limit? Unhesitatingly her hand crumpled the card and threw it to a nearby trash can, simple words burning her mind, _"You are cordially invited to the wedding of Mr. Quatre Raberba Winner and……"_

**__**

//In chasing after you//

Shadows danced along with her as she filled the room with her presence. Her blood surged through her veins—screaming for the pillage of more blood. Sweat mingled with the contours of her smooth milky skin, eyes blazing with heat. A triumphant smile fell on her lips as she heard her opponent muttered, "Touché." Putting down her saber, she bowed—her opponent doing the same. "It seems your concentration is lacking today." Her instructor lightly said. Her eyes narrowed as she glanced at him sideways.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I…it's just that early on our duel you weren't as alert as you usually are."

"Yes, I suppose you are right. So I'll see you next week, correct?"

"Of course, madam." With a frown framing her gray eyes, she watched him leave the room. He was the third person, that week, to comment on her inattentiveness.

**__**

//I'm falling even more in love with you

letting go of all I've held onto//

She let out a frustrated sigh as she pushed the blankets away—hurriedly putting on her bathrobe. No matter what she did, sleep would not come to her. She tried soothing music to lull her but to no avail. The pills did nothing but irritate her even more. Her mind would just not yield in leaving her peacefully. Tightly tying her hair in a bun she made her way to the room that often relieved her of her troubles.

**__**

//I'm standing here until you make me move//

The saber swung fluidly back and forth at her command of hand. Her body conformed to her every movement like a ballerina's would in a ballet that foreshadowed her own undoing. Perspiration began to soil the fabric of her nightgown and the coldness of the waning night seeped through her bathrobe, only to meet the warm surface of her skin. The wall she built in her mind was beginning to crumble as her concentration wavered to the weight of uncertainties. She shook her head. No, nothing bothered her at all.

**__**

//I'm hanging by a moment here with you//

She halted, eyes trained on the floor, and slowly lowered her saber. Her heart continued to beat faster and her cheeks remained flushed. What is wrong with her? She closed her eyes and let herself fall on her knees—the only sound that could be heard was the clinking of the saber's hilt as it hit the marble floor.

**__**

//I'm living for the only thing I know//

She reached out her hand to the beckoning darkness but found no solace. Her mind reeled her with more questions and the doubt that she never perceived before, now stood tall in front of her. Did she not detest his affections toward her? She nodded, of course she did. He was too optimistic, too weak. He was too trusting towards others. She stared blankly at her hands, then why? Why did she have this odd feeling…this feeling of….loss?

**__**

//I'm running and not quite sure where to go//

She stiffened, the answer was at the tip of her tongue and she dared not to speak it out loud. It just can't be. She didn't like him at all. In fact, she hated him. His blue eyes that sparkled with laughter often annoyed her, even the genuine smile that always greeted her. The affectionate manner that he always accommodated her with also irritated her. It just can't be. Oh God. Relena was mistaken she wasn't blind or obtuse. She was simply too proud to admit it.

**__**

//And I don't know what I'm diving into

just hanging by a moment here with you//

The stairs ascended before her and she took nimble steps to conquer it. Her heart was beating faster than usual. Was she actually nervous? Taking a deep breath, she pushed the huge, wooden door, which creaked at her. The fragrance of lilies floated in the air and it mingled reluctantly with the scent of candles. Waves of pastel adorned the ends of the pews accompanied at intervals with bouquets of fresh lilies and carnations. A red river of cloth muffled the aisle in between the two columns of pews. Her mind bitterly took note of how everything was perfect. Everything for his wedding was perfect.

**__**

//Just hanging by a moment//

She moved quickly upon hearing voices approaching. The halls of the cathedral were still and her footsteps echoed endlessly. Turning around, she was surprise to see two men in deep conversation coming her way. She entered the room closest to her and locked it. She let out a sigh of relief and leaned at the door. She surveyed the room and was met by a pair of surprised blue eyes.

**__**

// Hanging by a moment//

He checked his reflection on the mirror and sighed. This is the day. The day that has been long awaited by his sisters. But hasn't he waited for this moment? After all, it is his wedding day. Running his hand through his hair he sat down, looking contemplatively on the carpet floor. Janice is a very exceptional woman, no doubt about it. The door suddenly flew open and he looked up. His eyes gazing at a pair of astonished gray eyes.

**__**

//Hanging by a moment //

"Dorothy?!" He croaked as soon as he found his voice. "What are you doing here?"

Silence emanated from the room as time stood still for both of them. Without taking her eyes of him, she allowed herself to sincerely answer his question, "I don't know...my heart just told me to come." 

**__**

// Hanging by a moment here with you //

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